Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
