If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
