I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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