totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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