My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
