happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you would pick up someone in the library
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He called his prostate his "boner button".
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
