new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
