he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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