You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
