Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
