I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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