it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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