Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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