you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
