I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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