Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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