I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My life is pants optional.
Randomize