I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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