there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
