With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
