No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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