i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
