I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
