What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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