I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize