i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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