can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
