I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Bring me that man meat
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
