Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
