Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
