Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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