I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
