Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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