Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
