Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
