when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize