actually, I'm a sock model
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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