What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
