My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
