i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize