Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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