just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
