I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
