she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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