so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
