Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
