when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm passing your future prison.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
