ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
