No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the day after is always just damage control
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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