we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
