Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
