do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
