First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
