Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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