its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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