Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
