I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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