I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
