Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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