The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
