Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
