I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
