Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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