rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
