you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize