Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
